an overwhelming urge to run away screaming

i thought i was fine with the idea. i was, i suppose. but now- not cool. very much not. not fine. if i spend a single instant actually thinking about it i think my brain will implode.
it feels so wrong. why does it? i'm not scared; just very very uncomfortable. very. un. comfortable. there is so little that makes me uncomfortable and here, here is one but MY GOD. and WHY MUST THERE BE
and

i can't think.
i can't breathe.
i need to tell them to stop looking.
i need to tell them.

what reason?
what reason?

how will i explain? the gut is a fool, isn't it? a fool?
but i'm so-
UNCOMFORTABLE
--
.

and Cat? i know now why you run from it so. i apologize. i had no idea.