Wednesday, September 18, 2013

singing again; sinking again

oh dearest how long has it been since you had a thing to say? too long, too long but here the words are back because the songs are back and so are all the lost feelings.
did you know you moderately identified yourself more with GOOD than BAD or that you rate islam higher than budhism and christianity, both of whom rate higher than judaism? the more you know.
i am going through the fire again with boys who tell me i should work out more and that if there was one thing they would change about me it would be the possession of a little extra around my waist except they didn't say they just indicated and how do i let people like that into my heart anyway i do not know
meanwhile i am heartsick because this world is kind of a horrifying place did you hear about the dead boy did you? hardly anyone who does not already talk about things like that is talking about it are all the people around me living in bubbles or are they just better at getting things done that are meant to be done than i am?

oh dear how do i
(i can't help it)
keep my mind on the mundane everyday work hard study hard do your job make money to feed yourself pay the rent maintain a lifestyle that will enable you to do something big to change the world some day some day in your future how do i?

i am too invested in this planet and it is breaking my heart.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

america: fuck yeah

that's it for now. i just felt like reminding myself that this was once the place i was most alive.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

save a paper boat

i am back to dreaming about things bigger than i am - back to stopping in the middle of my life because a woman can sing the songs in my secret heart. i am back to waiting for moments to fall into place after they have caught me unawares.
some day soon i will find again the words i need to talk about the inside of my head.
some day soon i will be able to talk again, because i am ready to fall in love again.