Wednesday, May 10, 2006

a thing about commitment

What is it about me and fear?
Right now I am terrified that the people who say they care are all lying. Why I feel this, I have no idea. They have really no reason to do it unless it's part of some elaborate plot, and I'm not a real big fan of conspiracy theories. Well, except for God.
God is a conspiracy theory I can get behind.
I find that every time I let anyone close enough to me that they have the power to hurt me, there is some little trigger that flips and says - watch out. stop trusting. they don't care. not really.
I decided today that I will believe. I will believe. I am not going to screw this one up. Friends like this are hard to come by.

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