all i ever wanted

And I'm sorry I was so blind, but I'm glad I was wrong.
Isn't that what the relief means?
But I have lost the wisdom I had before; lost my safety and my walls; forgotten lessons I learnt so early (say nothing tell no one hush yo' mouth it's not for them to know only you only you)
And from unexpected quarters I get my boosts
"you are nice and special...such a wonderful ability to make friends and get people to like you... cute eyes... wonderful writing skills"
Nice words will always make me cry
I told them all I was shy
And got only big eyes as reply
Do I hide it so well, or is it me I'm fooling?

as best I could
in my own fashion
in spite of myself

And once the trust goes, there is nothing, nothing, only accusations and doubt and give the dog a bad name and hang him.
underdog undertow
And I am so tempted. This is how the guilt wears you down, a little at a time, a little less each time, till there is only relief in the breaking.
And it's easy to stray; easy.
Throw caution to the winds and betray betray betray. Once the name is mud what use is trying, anyway?

P.S. on a Sunday. I'm regretting. Is that good or bad?