Do you stay away on purpose? It works well: I am learning to spend a day without thinking of you for more than half of it. I do not know whether this is a development I should be happy for; I've had too much fun with you in my head. There are too many people aching at this moment. If I had my way I'd send them all purring cats on laps.
Look, ma - I know how to use the subjunctive!
Of course she's right. I've always known that. I've always known a very fair number of things. The knowing does not seem to prevent me from doing stupid things, however. This is the tragedy.
if i promised not to think about the persons who might be reading this page, could i return to the honesty it began with? dear one, there was never any honesty in a single thing you did - why think to start now? i hate that everything i do is seen from the outside and inside and sideways simultaneously. is this a conversation with self, then? :) you do strange things, my tee.
is simplicity such a crime?
i miss you. i shouldn't, but i do. i miss you less fervently today than i did two weeks ago, but i've been missing you months and months - did you know? i pretend this is something special and unique. but i pretend too well to trust a thing i tell myself. i will pretend to believe it this once: belief is something i do not think i can do very well without. it strikes me as funny, the little of you i apparently am willing to settle for. there are so many things i want to talk to you about, and all i want - really, really, all i want - is just that moment in time when i have your undivided attention.
i miss you. do you see now?
Miss. How pretty it is when one word means so many things.
Poor misstee. What will she do when there is no one left to set her heart on?
Look, ma - I know how to use the subjunctive!
Of course she's right. I've always known that. I've always known a very fair number of things. The knowing does not seem to prevent me from doing stupid things, however. This is the tragedy.
if i promised not to think about the persons who might be reading this page, could i return to the honesty it began with? dear one, there was never any honesty in a single thing you did - why think to start now? i hate that everything i do is seen from the outside and inside and sideways simultaneously. is this a conversation with self, then? :) you do strange things, my tee.
is simplicity such a crime?
i miss you. i shouldn't, but i do. i miss you less fervently today than i did two weeks ago, but i've been missing you months and months - did you know? i pretend this is something special and unique. but i pretend too well to trust a thing i tell myself. i will pretend to believe it this once: belief is something i do not think i can do very well without. it strikes me as funny, the little of you i apparently am willing to settle for. there are so many things i want to talk to you about, and all i want - really, really, all i want - is just that moment in time when i have your undivided attention.
i miss you. do you see now?
Miss. How pretty it is when one word means so many things.
Poor misstee. What will she do when there is no one left to set her heart on?
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