subjunctive cases

i've been meaning to be good. i know how to be good. i just cannot bring myself to it. why does wisdom not come with the desire to apply it? i'm sorry. i'm sorry i push you. i'm sorry i pull you. i'm sorry i show you that i need you. i wish i cared less. i wish i were indifferent. i wish i didn't attach myself to people - stuck like a limpet until cut loose forcibly, stupid woman, didn't you see it coming? but i'm not unhappy all the time. not even melancholy - it's just the humours that make it seem so. you made me happy, once. that was when it was accidental. i was happy and carefree and you were not important to me at all... and now you are, and that's the end. now i'm lost, lost and i wish i weren't. i wish it were easy to not care. i wish it were possible to be self-contained, to truly need nobody - but it isn't. i need you. i need them. i need someone. needy, clingy; funny. i know all this. i knew this ten years ago, when i was thirteen and perhaps no less mature.
if i had more to offer, would there be a person who would give me what i wanted to have?