I dunno what the title is supposed to signify. I just know that I'm growing up. Slowly but surely. Inexorably. What a wonderful language it is.
Here's what it is about me. I am what I want you to see me as. I will go to any lengths necessary to preserve the facade of the person I believe I should be. Now it's gotten so I really have no idea who I really am. Thief of love! Just kidding.
I do nothing that is not calculated. The things I do that are not calculated, are all, almost without exception, silly and childish and immature. Which leads me to argue that growing up is just the process of creating that perfect fake persona. Or multiple personas. And the better you are at it, the better pleased you'll be.
Oh what rot.
I try very hard to be good. To be unselfish. I really do. I'm almost at the point where it comes easily to put some people's feelings above mine. (easily, yet not naturally. semantics are cruel but true)
But at the end of the day, I am as self-involved as ever. It is aggravating, to say the least, when the sum-total of my self-actualization lies in the realization that I'm a fucking selfish, self-centered, manipulative, cold-hearted bitch. Yay, me!
fuck fuck fuck
i don't want to be me anymore.
Here's what it is about me. I am what I want you to see me as. I will go to any lengths necessary to preserve the facade of the person I believe I should be. Now it's gotten so I really have no idea who I really am. Thief of love! Just kidding.
I do nothing that is not calculated. The things I do that are not calculated, are all, almost without exception, silly and childish and immature. Which leads me to argue that growing up is just the process of creating that perfect fake persona. Or multiple personas. And the better you are at it, the better pleased you'll be.
Oh what rot.
I try very hard to be good. To be unselfish. I really do. I'm almost at the point where it comes easily to put some people's feelings above mine. (easily, yet not naturally. semantics are cruel but true)
But at the end of the day, I am as self-involved as ever. It is aggravating, to say the least, when the sum-total of my self-actualization lies in the realization that I'm a fucking selfish, self-centered, manipulative, cold-hearted bitch. Yay, me!
fuck fuck fuck
i don't want to be me anymore.
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