big fat liar

I don't like lies. Every lie I tell turns into another festering boil that I would fain get rid of, but can't, more's the pity. Parents, teachers, friends, family. Myself. It's incredibly easy to lie. Far too easy. Sometimes I wonder how many people I talk to lie to me, and the answer always seems to be, more than you'll ever know. If it's so easy to lie, isn't it logical to assume that almost everyone does it? But of course. Telling the truth is a chore, and an often painful one into the bargain. What I've tried to do all these years is create a foolproof alibi, one that will stand up purely because it is true; and that is, that I don't lie. To be able to say that, and mean it, is something I've managed almost all my life. And now, suddenly, the little untruths tumble out unheeded, and break into pieces my idea of me. I can't be proud to be someone who has no respect for the truth.
I need to fix this, fast fast fast.