How depressing to figure out, in such a short period of time, all the things that really make me miserable. My greatest fears. The banes of existence. The things that keep me awake at night and crying into my pillow.
My greatest fear is that I'm boring, I told him (was it something I said?). It is, too. To bore someone is such a crime, isn't it? To waste their time, that they have so little of! And then there is the fear that I am ordinary. Not that I will be, that I already am. How painful it is to be ordinary. To think that there a million, billion people exactly like you, with no claim to genius, or uniqueness or anything remotely memorable or special in any way...oh, how it stings to realize you are ordinary. What are you doing with your life? What's the point, really?
Where's the purpose.
ugh.
Meanwhile, what is this little gnaw? I don't want it to be a gnaw. I have had more than enough of these, surely? And letter readers are hard to find.
It isn't good to be so particularly miserable so early in the morning. I wonder how I always manage it.
Please?
How often have I said that?
My greatest fear is that I'm boring, I told him (was it something I said?). It is, too. To bore someone is such a crime, isn't it? To waste their time, that they have so little of! And then there is the fear that I am ordinary. Not that I will be, that I already am. How painful it is to be ordinary. To think that there a million, billion people exactly like you, with no claim to genius, or uniqueness or anything remotely memorable or special in any way...oh, how it stings to realize you are ordinary. What are you doing with your life? What's the point, really?
Where's the purpose.
ugh.
Meanwhile, what is this little gnaw? I don't want it to be a gnaw. I have had more than enough of these, surely? And letter readers are hard to find.
It isn't good to be so particularly miserable so early in the morning. I wonder how I always manage it.
Please?
How often have I said that?
2 comments:
look, instrospection is good in small doses. not 24/7 full-on.
Anyway, as much as we all feel the same, people are all very different.
Like fingerprints - similiar, perhaps. But identical? no. Unique? So they say.
Now look outside.
yes ma'am.
:)
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