besotted part 1

One can tell exactly how much the current boy is messing up my head by how often I post here. One can also tell most of what's going on in the head by reading said posts. Apparently this time is rather worse than all preceding. The worst part is that I can't remember anything from before except the words. (oh say, will i ever forget the words? ever? from any? bhow, who knows. i doubt it muchly. i wouldn't be me then, probably.) And that means I can't tell if it's different at all. Sure, nothing else makes sense, and nothing else is comfortable, and the time sense has gone on leave again; but the same things happened every time before. I am very tired. I am horribly lonely. If I don't watch myself, I'll do things I shouldn't, and say things I don't really mean, only because I leap ahead of myself again.
Leap to conclusions on pain of death.
Everything right where it belongs.
I need to get me some company outside this box.