midnight odd thought

so. here's an odd thought. what if i really am a happy person? what if the real me is that crazy over-the-top super-enthu cutlet? what if it was only those squashings that had me down and glum? what if it's that spicy tamale that i'm rediscovering? what if that's the reason i'm suddenly so comfortable in my skin? what if that's the reason more people like me? what if that's the reason that i like me?
if it is, i'm glad i was down in the middle. downs give ups meaning. within reason.
where is my bee?